Most parents have encountered this situation at one time or another. Your child is doing something that is potentially dangerous, or annoying, and when you try to stop them they throw a tantrum.
The way in whcih parents deal with these sometimes frequent situations is one of the biggest trials that they must face. Children will develop social competence and self confidence if they are provided with tolerance and praise for their positive actions. But parents need to assert their authority and remain in charge.
The typical toddler will, on average, face up to 20 restrictions on their activities every hour. I daresay that you wouldn’t like to be told what to do every three minutes?
Parental control is often needed when a child is doing what comes naturally but putting themselves or their peers at risk in the process. Playing with knives, bashing brothers or sisters with toys and fighting are all examples of how children will test their boundaries to investigate the world in which they live.
Giving the child an alternative can be an excellent way to allow them to continue to safely investigate and learn. For example, you might simply exchange a metal knife for a plastic one or a spoon. Or let them find out how much it can hurt to be poked in the eye.
Alternatives don’t always work but they can provide an effective way to defuse a potentially explosive situation. The first thing to do is to acknowledge what the child is trying to achieve and then to introduce the alternative. Its then important to engage the child with the alternative by using it yourself and makign it appear more attractive than whatever they were doing previously.
There will be many occasions when it simply isn’t possible to provide alternatives and these can help to teach children that the world has its limits. Providing yourr children with appealing alternatives to dangerous or harmful behavior can be a great way to develop a positive relationship and teach them that other options often exist.
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I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.
Tags: child development, child psychology, parental control, parenting skills